We were originally headed for Burgers on Main, when our caravan got waylaid by bandits and we had to change course. We took refuge at the Fox and the Feather. It's a pub right? There will be burgers. How bad could it be?
You know that apologetic look some employees get when they know their boss is a dick and they are forced to implement stupid corporate policies? Like no free pop refills? That was our server. Two bacon cheeseburgers, deep-fried pickles, two glasses of coke, two glasses of wine came to 73 dollars including tip. For limp salad. Plastic packets of condiments.
Here is a brief list of things I wish I'd purchased, rather this meal:
But Ana, that doesn't seem so bad, you might be thinking. Ok, ok. Let me tell you about the other patrons.
To our back was a table of men from out-of-town. One guy asked a lot of questions about the food. What's better, the chicken parm or the steak? Dude. Spoiler 1: the waitress won't give you her number no matter what you order. Spoiler 2: they're both going to taste like despair.
To our front was a married couple who had clearly given up. They didn't speak to each other the whole meal. He was on his phone. She fussed with a three-year-old who was wearing her pajamas. Made me wish I'd come in mine.
To our side were a couple of frumpy after-work civil servants showing a lot of cleavage haloed by So. Many. Pearls.
Maybe the upstairs is better. I hear good things about a certain corner table. Maybe there's not so much dark wood and maybe those chunky glass candle holders were too heavy to bring up the steps. Maybe upstairs you don't feel so much like you're in a former Red Lobster or Holiday Inn dining room from the 80s.
Anyways, here's what the rest of Ottawa has to say: